Here is a heart-rending drama about two abused teenage boys living with an animal hoarding religious fanatic. Sandy Dennis gives a masterful portrayal of the cruel aunt and mother of the two boys. Their neighborhood keeps them in the cycle of poverty, as evidenced by the graffiti both on all the buildings as well as inside the high school, where other disadvantaged children are forced to bathe in the toilet due to inadequate plumbing, and must resort to theft of more fortunate children’s lunch money.

In a brilliant scene of surrealism, fish fall from the sky, and the film drips with symbolism which highlights the evil circumstances that the characters are living in: don’t miss Dante’s shuffleboard parlor, the El Diablo theater, and the deviled egg sandwich Dennis’s pitiful nephew is forced to eat because there is no food in their home other than frozen fish.

Just kidding; I tapped out of this piece of sugar at 42 minutes in. If someone says they’re going to make a movie about people getting killed by Satan after dialing a 976 number, then I’m going to need to see scene after scene of that happening. I’m paying $2.99 a minute for this!

Great idea for a movie with some of the worst execution I’ve ever seen. Except there wasn’t enough execution going on if you know what I mean. The opening shot says it all: someone has painted “PBS” on a wall, and PBS is what you’d be better off watching. I’d rather watch Elmo do lines of fake coke with Mr. Snuffleupagus. I’d rather watch David Attenborough watch a cheetah eat Big Bird. I’d rather watch that guy in the plaid suit devalue antiques that were stolen from Downton Abbey. I’d rather pledge five bucks to PBS and get a hammer autographed by Bob Vila’s crazy religious aunt. I’d rather sniff paint thinner with Bob Ross’s pet squirrel. This movie is bad. So let’s watch a compilation of Freddy Krueger 976 commercials instead. https://youtu.be/w9ezM7aT0wM