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The theater department at Dunwich University is rehearsing to put on a play, but there’s a new theater critic in town. And he or she is slaughtering all the thespians! It turns out there was a similar massacre the last time the school tried to put on this same play, back in the 1800s, and that time the bloody censor succeeded. Is the play cursed? And are the aspiring actors dumb enough to continue rehearsing as their numbers dwindle?

Seven Dorms of Death is a parody, so these folks playing dumb actors get to go ahead and act like they can’t act. Of course, that’s not enough to make a parody work, especially when the internet is full of parody. Seven Dorms of Death does work though, for two reasons. First, it has a very unusual presentation. It has a frame story that the movie is being presented in parts by a fictional horror host on late night TV, complete with fake commercials. Secondly, it is obvious that the actors are having a great time making the film, especially the lead detective who steals every scene he’s in. The horror host looks to be enjoying himself as well. There’s also a music video in the middle of the movie in which a synth band sings about Satan while everyone dances. Best of all, it’s set in a version of the 1980s where everyone loves Judas Priest and Bonnie Franklin.

When I found out about Seven Dorms of Death, I only intended to watch the first video and save the rest for later (this is presented in 10 parts) but I ended up watching the entire thing all in one sitting, first thing in the morning. I didn’t even pick up my laptop to look at IMDb the whole time I was watching, which is my true test of whether or not a movie is good. Hell, I didn’t even sneak a look at my phone. I enjoyed the obvious homage to Lovecraft, but it’s not every day you get to see The Beyond aka Seven Doors of Death parodied. I think I even saw a nod to Live Like A Cop, Die Like A Man at the end. And I’m pretty sure the twist regarding the killer’s identity is one that’s never been done before, which is quite an accomplishment.

I don’t want to say any more about the content of Seven Dorms of Death since it is a new webseries, but if you like horror hosts, SOV, and Italian horror, you will want to give this a shot.

By the way, does anyone actually know how to pronounce “Cthulhu?” I was hoping to hear the narrator say it when the title containing that word came up on the screen, but he just said something like “cram it up your ass sideways,” so I guess he couldn’t pronounce it either.

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